Luthor sat in his private study, poring over the document
with Elvin Lovecraft, the Central Intelligence Agency's code expert.
"Got anything yet?"
Luthor was testy.
"No," Lovecraft
said, "but it kind of reminds me of a code British Navel Intelligence once
used. I cracked that."
"Aren't the British
on our side?"
"Sure they're on
our side."
"Then what were you
doing cracking their spy code?"
"What do you think?
They send us bulletins about their state secrets? They're like everyone else.
This code, see, it was based on the brand names of Moroccan coffee
manufacturers."
"Come again?"
"Coffee
manufacturers. There are twenty six companies listed with the Moroccan
government as licensed to distribute coffee, one for each letter of the Italian
alphabet."
"Why Italian?"
"Italian was picked
at random, also because the Italians are preoccupied enough with their own
instability. They wouldn't be interested in the affairs of the British
government."
"What happened with
the coffee companies?"
"Oh. Well, they
looked up each coffee company in the Moroccan financial journal and got the
first word in the name of the company
three listings below the coffee companies. These were listed in reverse
alphabetical order and each stood for one letter of the alphabet."
"The whole word
stood for a letter?"
"Yeah. Really
unwieldy. Like the word 'and' came out spelled, 'texture-consolidated-general'
or whatever its equivalent was in Moroccan and Italian."
"And this code from
Einstein reminds you of that?"
"Yeah"
"How so?"
"That one was
impossible to crack too."
The code expert
turned back to the document and his
notes, huffing and snorting and crossing things out. Luthor stared at him trying to decide whether to feel amazed,
confused or disgusted. He couldn't make up his mind so he went into the next room to watch a videotape of the news that
B.J. had prepared for him every day.
The thirty-sixth
floor of their Galaxy Building was bleached white with tiling on the floors,
porous ceilings that ate sound, glass doors, and marble wall paneling broken
only by carefully selected prints of abstract paintings with stainless steel
frames. Jan Schlesiniger perched in the chair behind the reception desk, pleasant but not friendly, attractive and
not sexy. The last girl to sit behind that desk was dismissed when she came to
work one day wearing argyle socks.
When a swirling
spout of earth-coloured clouds formed in front of Jan and then consolidated
into the form of a grinning, four armed man about five feet tall she was sure
she was being tested.
"May I help you,
sir?"
"My purpose I will
not hedge, I've come to speak with Morgan Edge."
"Yes, sir. Do you
have an appointment?"
"Just tell this
Edge that Towbee's here, and he will see me, never fear."
"Mr. Edge is only
available by appointment, sir. Galaxy Communications is a very large company.
If you would write a letter specifying what you would like to talk to Mr. Edge
about I'm sure it would be a better idea."
"T-O-W-B-double E,
tell him that and he'll see me."
"Towbee?"
"That's my name. The
very same."
"Just a moment,
sir." Jan pressed a button on her desk's inter-office picture phone and
addressed the facelift that flashed on the screen. "A Mr. Towbee here. He says
he's sure Mr. Edge will want to see him."
"Towbee?" the
facelift said. "Did you say Towbee?"
"Yes, uh, T-O-W-B
double E."
"Does he have four
arms and a moustache and speak in rhymes?"
This has got to be
a test, Jan thought. Keep your cool, girl. "Yes, he does," Jan said.
"Stand by a
second." The screen flashed a test pattern, Jan heard shuffling and some sort
of clanking down the hall and she smiled at the minstrel's pleasantly grotesque
face.
The test pattern
was replaced by the facelift with a smile clamped to her cheeks. "Jan, please
direct Mr. Towbee to Mr. Edge's office."
She told Towbee to
turn left at the corner and go through the door at the far end of the corridor.
He followed her directions, and she allowed herself a wide grin while no one
was looking. Her job was secure.
The five minute
news summery that originated sixteen floors below Jan three hours earlier at
11:00 A.M. was videotaped in Luthor's penthouse and now he was watching
it. B.J. sat behind the television as
he watched, reading from a red file folder.
Jimmy Olsen was on
the screen saying, "You may remember that Towbee was the name of an alien who
loosed an apparently harmless flying lizard on Metropolis some years ago. The only one who actually met that Towbee at
the time was Superman, and there has been no word from him as to whether that
alien and the space minstrel who appeared in the city today are one and the
same. But here is what the minstrel had
to say today."
"Underground with
the diesel mole?" B.J. asked.
"No," Luthor
answered. "He's on an upper level."
"Shatter the wall
with a sonar gun?"
"No, too
spectacular."
"Disguise him as a
guard?"
"Needs too much
planning."
Towbee was on the
screen now, singing, "And a path to arm's rule he is treading..."
"Smuggle in jet
boots?" B.J. asked.
"He's not athletic
enough."
"Hot-dogging with a
helicopter?"
Luthor thought a
second. "Simple, direct, not something I would be immediately suspect of,
maybe. Yes. Who's the best pilot not serving time?"
"Macduff."
"Give him a
schematic of their prison and send him in here for his working orders," Luthor
said, as Towbee was replaced on the screen by the face of Jimmy Olsen, "and
rewind that tape. I want to hear what the spaceman said again. The part about a
prophesy or something."
Edge was close to
fifty, everyone knew, but no one would have guessed that. He smiled a lot, the
way a cobra smiles. A few strands of gray salted his brown hair. He affected a
holder with a cigarette, which he occasionally lit. He was quite experienced in
dealing with potential recording stars, and he considered the fact that this
one was alien to the planet irrelevant.
"Quite a show you
put on today, Mr. Towbee."
"The show's not the
important part. I need a stage to make my art."
"Of course. And you
feel the recording division of galaxy is the proper forum for that art."
"To Galaxy I'd make
a gift of songs and tales your souls to lift."
"A gift. Of
course." He wasn't so different from artists and creators Edge already knew.
Talking about bestowing their vision upon the world like a gift from
Heaven. In the halls of this building Towbee and his kind were just talent. Not
talented people, just talent, a commodity. Talent had a market value based on
demand, like eggs or cars or information or any of the other commodities in
which merchants dealt.
"Just show me to a
microphone, I'll sing and show you worlds unknown."
"Yes. Well, I'm
afraid you'll have to work out the particulars with Clete Mavis, the president
of our recording division. He's on the west coast right now, but I will direct
him to work out a deal with you as to—"
"You speak to me of
deals, good man? Vulgarity is not my plan."
The preposterous
little creature was offended. He was standing up, ready to leave when Edge's
business sense piped up with, "That's
just an expression we use. A euphemism. Deal. Like in a card game." Edge wasn't
sure of what he meant by that, but Towbee seemed to like it.
Towbee sat down
again and told the executive that he was relieved. He had one request to make
of Edge, however... He wanted to know where he could find back issues of the Daily
Planet. Edge asked a secretary to take Towbee to the records room on
the sixth floor.
Towbee poured over
copies of the Planet printed in the past several days. He picked up a
copy from two days ago that had a large
picture of Lex Luthor on the front page. He stared at it intensely for several
seconds, turned into a puff of smoke and vanished.
Luthor gave Macduff his instructions a few minutes before
three in the afternoon. On Clark Kent's broadcast three hours later, following
the lead story of Towbee, there was an account of a spectacular escape from
the Pocantico State Correctional Facility. A helicopter touched down in the prison courtyard and an obscure little
man named John Lightfoot scurried in to take off before some of the guards
could even turn their heads and see. The armored hull of the copter pinged with
bouncing bullets as it sped upward at a 60-degree angle, possibly toward a
mother craft, maybe a jet circling above, before prison hardware could be
brought into play against it. The escape was daring, apparently flawless and
nearly successful.
While the copter
was still within sight of the prison
grounds it began to weave in the air. It coughed, spluttered and lost altitude.
It crashed in the woods less than a mile from the Pocantico facility. In the
wreckage were two bodies, charred beyond belief.
Lightfoot was a professor of linguistics who was once unfortunate
enough to become involved in a scheme with a collection of incompetent
industrial spies. In less than a month he would have become eligible for an
almost sure parole. No one understood how he could have known anyone who would
attempt such an escape, or why the linguist would agree to dangerous adventure
this late in his sentence.
Some prison guards
who saw the crash claimed to have seen a kind of swirling colorful mass envelope the helicopter before it went out
of control. This was obviously an illusion caused by the distance.
"Damn!" Luthor told
the television. B.J. realized that if he had a choice between talking to a mechanical object or another
person in a room Luthor would invariably address the object. "Is that birdseed
brain still working in the study?" This was a non-rhetorical question, which
meant Luthor was talking to her.
"He hasn't come
out. Last time I was in there he hadn't made any progress."
"Cretin hasn't even
decided if it's a code or some kind of foreign language. Now that Lightfoot's
gone we're stuck with—whuzzat?" Someone below the penthouse was banging on
the floor.
"Somebody's banging
on the floor," B.J. observed.
"Very good.
Tomorrow we begin pottery training. Tell me something."
"What?" He banged
again.
"Has anyone new
moved in downstairs?"
"No"
And again.
"Is anyone in this
penthouse dancing or moving furniture or doing anything that would annoy
someone downstairs?"
"No."
The banging was constant now.
"Have we ever in
the past had downstairs neighbors who bang on our floor just to be cranky?"
"No."
"Then why the
flying moose ears don't you send somebody downstairs to see what somebody's
trying to tell us?"
Six minutes later
Luthor was presented with the smiling figure of John Lightfoot, linguist
extraordinaire, wearing a coat over ragged prison fatigues and slicing his face
with a smile.
"Explanation?"
Luthor said crisply.
"I made it out of
the helicopter in time and landed in a tree. It was horrible."
"Macduff?"
"The pilot? He's
gone, poor boy."
"The news reported
two charred bodies."
"Did they? Well, I
don't suppose they want to admit the loss of a prisoner. The authorities like
the public to believe in poetic justice, you may have noticed."
"Very smooth,
fella. You haven't told me yet how you
managed to find me. Let's hear it."
"Where else was I
to go? I hitched a ride with some young people and—"
"Hang the ride.
How'd you find my headquarters?"
"Oh that. Pygmalion."
"Scuse me?"
"Pygmalion. My Fair Lady. It was the reason I became
interested in philology. I read George Bernard Shaw's
Pygmalion when I was a boy and was impressed with the man who was
able to tell where people lived by their
regional accents. I always wanted to be able to do that."
It was the sort of
contrived story that so fascinated Luthor that he had to accept it. "You
compared the idiosyncrasies of my speech with those of other people on my
staff, and you determined what part of the city we frequent. Brilliant."
"Yes. So I came
here and saw only three buildings in the area that had penthouses. The pilot,
rest his soul, had time to mention we were going to a penthouse. I counted
fifty-three floors from the outside of the Zephymore building, but only
fifty-two were listed on the elevator. I hope you didn't think me too bold when
I knocked on your floor."
Maybe Luthor had
underestimated the mousy little man he'd met in prison. Maybe, dare he
hope, there would be someone around
here intelligent enough to hold a coherent conversation. "Not too bold at all,
Lightfoot."
"Shall we go to work?"
"Fine idea."